Behind Closed Doors

Remember when Johanna and I were posting about our adventures in pair-writing a book? Well, it's getting close to real. We now have a webpage on the Pragmatic Bookshelf. Excerpts and more info to come.

We anticipate the book (working title is Behind Closed Doors: Secrets of Management Revealed) will be available in September.

Yippee!

Victor on Secrets of Agile Teamwork

Victor Szalvay comments on his experience at the Secrets of Agile Teamwork workshop:

In addition to being a great workshop, I made some new friends and gained insights that I'll carry with me for a long time.

Diana and I had a great time, too. We had a wonderful group and actually had a lot of fun in addition to learning a thing or two.

Victor voices on of the common concerns I hear every time I teach this sort of workshop:

One of the leading concerns aired at the workshop was how to apply our newly learned tools back home in the workplace. There was a general feeling that without the comprehensive experience of the workshop to lay a foundation, our colleagues back home may dismiss the ideas and concepts as "fluffy".

Having an entire team attend is ideal. And when that isn't the case, you can still boost your own effectiveness and team effectiveness.

Show rather than tell. Rather than telling teammates about all the neat concepts you learned -- show one or two in action. When you change how you respond to situations, the system will shift, too.

Work by attraction. Sooner or later, someone will notice the change and ask about it. That's the time to tell about what you learned.

Expect some push back. The (human) system may try to revert to the comfortable status quo. Some people may not want the situation to change, especially when the old way worked to their advantage. Even when the old way didn't work, what's familiar is more comfortable than the unknown. That's natural. Persist.

Be patient. People usually need to be exposed to a new idea several times before it sticks.

Build a support team. Everything is easier with support. We have a cultural myth about individual achievement -- in reality most "star" individual achievers have support from other people. Stay in touch with the group from the workshop. Call on the workshop leaders. (I love to hear from people I've met in workshop.)

And of course, sending your entire team to the Secrets of Agile Teamwork is a very fine idea. :-)

Communication in the here and now

A while back, I wrote about the Interaction Model and how communication can become tangled.

I've been working with a colleague preparing for a workshop. This morning we lived out a great example of how communication goes awry:

After synching up and making a plan for the day, my colleague added an item to the list of items we need to bring to the workshop: "Purel"

"How big a bottle do we need?" I asked.

"Well, you've been sneezing and might be coming down with a cold. And all these people will have been on airplanes, and they've been exposed to germs. We won't be able to wash our hands everytime we sneeze, so we need Purel," she answered.

I was puzzled.

"I understand why we need it," I said. "I have a small bottle with me, and I want to know if that's enough, or we need a larger size."

"We need a bigger size with a pump dispenser," she answered.

After we figured out the content, I wanted to solve my puzzle.

"I'm puzzled. I asked a 'How much' question, and you gave a 'Why' answer," I said.

She thought about it for a minute. "My ex-husband always asked me to justify decisions and purchases. So I heard you ask me to prove it was a worthy idea."

When my colleague's answer gave me a clue that my question hadn't been clearly received, I restated my question in a more specific way. And I asked about how she interpreted my question.

This was an easy tangle to unravel. But when the misinterpretation isn't about about you and the current interaction, the misinterpretation can be harder to untangle because of the emotions involved.

Then the first thing to do it get the conversation into the here-and-now.

When I suspect the interaction isn't in the hear-and
-now, I might say one of these things:

I'm puzzled by your response. What did you hear me say?

I'm wondering if I might not have been clear. Let me say that a different way....

I'm puzzled by your response. Can you tell me what's happening for you right now?

Then I wait to see what new information about the interaction emerges.

We all get tangled up in communication -- its part of being
human. And learning to get over the bumps makes it easier to work with people and makes everyone more productive.