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"Poor management can increase software costs more rapidly than any other factor." (Barry Boehm)  Behind Closed Doors: Secrets of Great Management (Pragmatic Programmers) 
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Wednesday, November 03, 2004
Don't sell that child to the gypsies: remaining calm in the face of Sophie's Rule
A while back I posted a little riff on the question "Why?". We want to know why, but asking "Why?" isn't always the best way to find out. I offer alternative ways to ask the question. Reader Shannon Mann recently sent this response: The person asking is almost always wanting to know something else, and 'Why?' is their verbalisation of their confusion. When confronted by 'Why?', reflecting some part of the question back to the asker will often open doors to communication (and eliminate the internal strife of having someone question your credibility). Shannon describes how he responds when his child asks "Why?": ...the first asking of why, I give an answer, the second asking of why, I ask, 'Why do you think this is this way?' (or some such). Almost every time, the child already has a formed opinion and has little trouble explaining. I love this! I can imagine the conversation playing out with a my 3-year-old niece. I think it might be a bit dicey, though, if it's your boss asking "Why?" This is the conversation running through my head: Manager: Why is the release late? You: Why do you think the release is late? errr. I'm not sure the boss would take that very well. How about this: Manager: Why is the release late? You: I've thought about that a lot; what causes do you see from your point of view? (Sigh. I've done it again. I've restated a Why question as a What question.) And I do think this could lead to an interesting dialogue. Thanks for writing Shannon. (Sophie's Rule refers to Brian Marick's advice for learning about what customers do -- and why.)
posted by Esther Derby at 5:25:00 PM
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